I'm just a musical prostitute, my dear.
- Freddie Mercury
I've long suspected that Lady Gaga is essentially a musical dominatrix that people hire solely for the purpose of abusing their ears. However, even an ardent skeptic like myself can appreciate how amusing and catchy "Paparazzi" and "Poker Face" first came across as. Anyone who could sit through The Fame should've been able to pick out at least three more songs of the same caliber. Gaga's latest round of torture takes the form of an eight-track scourge titled The Fame Monster. Commence the punishment!
"I want your horror; I want your design, 'cause you're a criminal as long as you're mine." It seems that one of the things contributing most to Lady Gaga's allure is her way of spitting twisted and risqué lines right into the listener's face. Conceptualizing all the terrible and fantastic meanings behind the words is reason enough to call "Bad Romance" a satisfying track. Fans of "Pa-pa-pa-pokerface" will probably dig the kindred feel.
A downtempo-grooving synth lead in the verses and the inane repetition of the phrase "Allez Alejandro" make the recording that follows a mnemonic device more than a sensation. Compare this one to the sound of "Just Dance" with the rhythm of "Eh, Eh (Nothing Else I Can Say)". Samples of Ace of Base's "All That She Wants" and ABBA's "Dancing Queen" provide a setting for the tale of a woman that must resist the affection of three men; it's like a psuedo-spanish eurotrash pop ballad.
"Monster" is the charming story of a girl with a fuzzy memory and an eye for a boy she may or may not have already been intimate with. Alright, so charming it ain't. At the very least, the recurring "He ate my heart. He A-a-ate my heart." theme carries a certain charm. Percussion in the verses feels more free, like "Paparazzi", but the chorus sections remain solid with a driving pulse.
And now for something completely different. Track four comes out of nowhere with the feel of a throwback to when Queen meant Mercury, and the term Rhapsody conjured thoughts of homicide and poor boys from poor families. Instead, the lyrics mourn a falling out and heartbreak. Truistic? You bet, but Gaga belts it for all it's worth and the mix sounds great. "Speechless" is a clear departure from her typical synthetic sound, and perhaps all the more appreciable for it.
Back to the restraints with "Dance in the Dark". Gaga reflects on significant female figures of the past. It's a "Just Dance" with dark driving undertones in place of a worry-free bounce. There's not much to make this piece memorable. The chorus is shoved down the audiences throat a few more times than is necessary and the instrumentation is a bland, over-compressed regurgitation. Don't stop listening, it's about to get a whole lot better.
"Telephone" is one hell of a foot-tapper. Gaga's voice mimics classic cellphone mannerisms as she explains, "I can't hear a thing. I have got no service in the club" and "You can call all you want but there's no one home and you're not gonna reach my telephone." The concept is brilliant and the digital manipulation of the vocal track is genius. The harmonic progression reaches beyond the realm pleasing to a place known as inspiring. Hit the replay button, then
Lewd, cool, and relaxed sum up "So Happy I Could Die", part seven of The Fame Monster. What better way to reclaim the audience's attention than to proclaim, "I touch myself, can't get enough"? This laid-back track explores a feminine homoeroticism concept, which is good because the tune would be a wash without the added edge.
"Don't be scared; I've done this before. Show me your teeth." A muffled Lady Gaga drones on with teasing remarks, while lead vocals support the motif with expressions like "I'm gonna love you with my hands tied" and "Take a bite of my bad-girl meat; show me your teeth." The recording features a horn section and CHRISTMAS BELLS, which is constructive to the recording and admirable for an artist that rarely strays beyond the boundaries of synthetic sound. "Teeth" seems fittingly quirky for an artist as eccentric as Lady Gaga to conclude with.
According to my calculations, 68% of the audio signal produced by this album was worthwhile. Compare that to a generous 38% of the previous album, and you've got a linear trend in the right direction. Keep an eye out for this subjectively statistical up-and-comer.
